My life really started when I got pregnant, at the age of 16. Finding out I was pregnant was scary, and I really didn't know what to expect. My partner and I had been together for 3 years, before my pregnancy, and being together that long, I knew that my partner never wanted any kids. He felt as if they were too much for him; that, never in his lifetime, did he want to experience what it was like to have a child. That information left me more terrified, even though I was supporting myself, in all aspects, I still wanted my partner's support of the new event that was taking place in our relationship: a baby.
When I finally had the courage to tell him I was pregnant, I was terrified of how he would react, but I knew he had a right to know. Once I built enough courage to let the words, “I’m pregnant,” slip out of my mouth and into the ears of my partner, I watched for the slightest expression in his face, but nothing came to the surface. Nothing could've told me what was going to happen next. He looked at me and simply walked away. I felt as if the news still needed to be processed. After a few minutes, he returned and told me that he was scared and didn’t know how to deal with the news. How could he have a baby, when he didn’t even want one? The fear of being a bad father swept over him. He asked me if I could abort the baby. Having an abortion was his answer, and he had no other suggestions. Thinking back on it now, I knew from the beginning abortion was not what I wanted. I wanted my child, but no one else did. I was prepared to take care of my child on my own, without involvement from a father or neither of our families. I was too young, and a child in many people's eyes. However, I never felt like a child. At the age of 14, I was on my own, and fully supporting myself. No one could've made me change my way of thinking, or even my perception of myself. I was dedicated to raise my little girl on my own. I was an adult, even though my age didn’t suggest that. Yes, I was scared, but I knew I was doing the right thing, even if everyone I knew was against it. Now that I’m older, I’m able to see that the decision itself, to not abort my child, did come at a cost. Women before me had to fight for their voices to be heard, as mothers and adults, no matter the circumstances. I’m very appreciative that I was given the opportunity to choose what happened to me. To say yes or no to abortion was my decision, not my parents', even though I was a minor at the time. I do hold the belief of abortion being a mother’s decision and not the government's. Allowing everyone the ability to say yes or no to abortion is recognized as the right thing to do, from a legal and moral standpoint. The decision becomes more difficult when life brings a child to you, wanted or not, though I would still prefer to have the decision available to me. The decision shouldn’t be taken away from mothers; their own voice needs to be heard. My voice was heard, and now I have a wonderful 18 year old daughter. Without her, my life wouldn’t be the same, today, and I’m grateful that no one stripped away my rights, my decision, or my voice just because I was under 18. If my decision was restricted by my parents, due to me being a minor, I would’ve felt that I had no say in what my needs were, or even my child's. Confusion and anger would've swept over me, and who knows how I would've reacted to the loss of my child, who I so desperately wanted and needed in my life. I was no longer a child, I was an adult who financially and emotionally supported myself. This led me to believe that I had the same rights as a legal adult, even though I was only 17 years old. The journey was hard, but at the end of the day, it was my decision, and I couldn’t be happier with it. If being under age withheld my voice, I would've felt betrayed and stripped away of my identity. I am thankful that I had this right, and I know that not every woman going through the same circumstances is able to make the same choice. I do know that the abortion decision, and women being capable of saying what is best for them, isn’t something the government, or others, can or should dictate. Being underage doesn’t justify or overturn any women's rights, especially concerning what is right for her and her body. I am truly thankful for having the opportunity to choose for myself and child. Anonymous
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